Summertime Follow-Up

I’m so excited to write this post, because it’s been so long since I’ve written anything, and I really do miss it. I just really don’t have much to talk about these days. I’m pretty boring to be honest. In my head, I live a fancy lifestyle in LA and I hang out with my celeb best friends all the time; Cierra Ramirez, and Maia Mitchell, hey besties! But in reality, I’m a housewife. I cook, clean, buy groceries, check the mailbox, & repeat. I also play Overwatch every second I get (it’s such a good game, plz buy it for xbox guys).

I’m also pretty close to getting a promotion with Scentsy! (Let me know if you would like to help support!) Click here!!!

I’m planning to start ASL classes online, which is gonna be super tough because I don’t have anyone to practice with. But in case I ever run into Nyle DiMarco, I wanna make sure I know how to tell him how much of a sexy coyote he is.

Another exciting thing happening is my husband’s reenlistment, and we have to choose where we want to relocate. Honestly, I can’t even be picky. I just want to be closer to my family! There are just so many places to choose from! I’ll just be excited to leave Japan, this place is NOT for me. Some people love it here, but I’m not one of those people. Although I do love my house, and all this extra space. We got lucky, we have a brand new 2 story house here, and not everyone gets that.

I’m hoping to start building my photography portfolio now. I just did an engagement shoot, and I forgot how fun it was to take photos. I still need plenty of practice with editing, but I’m excited to learn. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for software, feel free to share! I’m aiming to do mostly family photos, and [wedding, engagement, birth] announcement photos for now.

I’m almost done with my event planning certificate, and I’m so happy that I’ll soon be a Certified Event Planning Specialist! I’m going to be planning a huge celebration for my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary. Isn’t that crazy?! 50 years. 5 children. 12 grandchildren. 4 great-grandchildren. It’ll be my first big event to plan, and I’m so thankful for my committee—hey momma & Yana!

Oh and another thing, PALEO. Guys let me tell you. If you want to lose weight quickly, try it. No added sugar, no grains, no beans, no alcohol. I’ve lost so much weight by doing it. Eat as much as you want, but you can only eat meat, fruit and vegetables. You’re welcome *Sadie Saxton voice*.

Ultimately, I’m writing this post to let the world know that I’m doing just fine! I will try my best to write more. Thanks for reading!

Dealing With Depression.

In honor of Depression Awareness Week, I want to blog about something different. Unlike my other posts, this one may make people feel slightly uncomfortable and possibly a bit confused. I just really want to clear up some of the common misconceptions of depression, because not everyone understands it. Depression is a part of my life, and I want to share with you all how this affects me. I’ve had mild depression for about 5 years maybe. Depression is one of those terms that people often use lightly. I’ve seen plenty of people talk about depression as if it’s a mood, similar to sadness, but it’s not. Depression is a mental illness. People with depression think differently than those without it. Everyone experiences depression differently; because I have mild depression, I never experience suicidal or homicidal thoughts and I don’t self-harm. Another common misconception; IT DOES NOT TAKE A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE TO DEVELOP DEPRESSION. Nothing specific happened 5 years ago that I will link to my depression.

Depression makes me feel certain things, sometimes there are feelings that I can’t put a name on. Feeling angry for no exact reason. Feeling alone in a room full of people. Feeling exhausted after sleeping all day. Feeling discouraged when things don’t go the way I hoped it would. Feeling frustrated because the people around me just don’t understand. Feeling overwhelmed and tired. When my depression hits me, I honestly feel careless. My depression usually flares up for about 3 days, yeah, THREE DAYS at a time.

Every now and then, I get so frustrated I cry. At times I just want to stay in bed, in the dark, alone. I cancel plans a lot, sometimes I just don’t feel like socializing. A lot of the time, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I struggle to find peace. Sometimes I like to go on a drive, and take the scenic route. I may take a 45 minute shower just to escape from reality. I often grind my teeth when I’m sleeping, and I get nightmares. At times I don’t want to eat, like I wish I didn’t have an appetite. Of course I end up eating because I find comfort in food. I then get frustrated and feel guilty because I’ve overeaten and now I feel worse. CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK IS A REAL THING!!!!

Depression to me is; pain, exhaustion, anger, irritation, annoyance, and frustration all at once. I don’t always think logically when my depression hits. I ignore the people around me, and I often snap on those who are closest to me. Instead of talking about my feelings, I write about them because I don’t have a ton of people in my life who understand my depression. Obviously everyone has their own way of surviving depression, writing is how I do it. Depression is a real thing, there are 350 million people in the world who suffer from it! Take some time to learn about it! Some of your closest friends may suffer from it, and they may feel like they have nobody who they can vent to. Understand that depression is not sadness, its numbness.

If I ever need time to myself, I need the people in my life to understand why. It’s not me being standoff-ish, it’s because I have depression and sometimes I need a break.


Disclaimer: this is specifically a post about how I am affected by depression, everyone experiences it and handles it differently.

February 2016: A letter to myself.

It’s February! Let’s follow up to see your progress.

Q: It’s been almost 2 months since you set your New Year’s Goals, how are they going?

A: It’s going….

Q: Read any new books yet? You have a goal to read 3 novels this year.

A: I actually started reading a book called “The Perfect Murder”, and to be completely honest, I just started last week and I’ve only read one chapter. I do plan to continue. Reading hasn’t been a hobby for me since elementary school, I read if I have to, but it’s hard for me to enjoy reading.

Q: How’s yoga been going? I know you started going to yoga class a few months ago, have you continued? Do you enjoy it?

A: I haven’t been to yoga since January, but not by choice. I know, this is just another excuse. My car broke down after 4 classes, and David’s work schedule interferes with the class time. I have however, been stretching daily, and I’m making a lot of progress with my flexibility.

Q: Any new weight loss? What are you doing to lose weight, and manage your physical health?

A: I haven’t had any major weight loss, like 5 pounds, nothing to brag about. I’ve been doing tons of research on losing weight and keeping it off. I’ve started eating off of smaller plates, which could have an impact on my weight loss. I try not to drink sugary drinks, I make my own juice weekly and sweeten it with honey. I have plans to see a dietitian very soon! I had blood work done, and my blood glucose is great (diabetes runs in my family). I’m taking baby steps when it comes to working out, honestly, I barely enjoy working out. I know I will grow into it as I start seeing results. I have a weight loss goal, but I’m still figuring out how I’m going to get there. The weight loss will take time, but it’ll be worth it. My physical health affects my mental health, the work is worth it.

Q: How are things going with your direct sales business?

A: Things are getting better. I’m learning more about the actual company. Learning how to sell things without being annoying isn’t easy, but it’s my job. I’m thankful to be able to work from home, and I’m hoping that I can get a promotion before this year is up!

Q: You have a goal to save a certain amount of money, how are things looking?

A: It’s looking like David & I will be buying a house in a couple of years! It’s great!

Q: Do you feel like your New Year’s Goals were realistic? Do you think you can complete all your goals?

A: I do think my goals are realistic, but they will take work. Because my goals are things that I actually value and want to achieve, I believe I can handle it. Even if I scram last minute to accomplish my goals, I will get them done.

For those who have set goals for the year, follow up with yourself! Find motivation in yourself! How well are you doing with your goals?


Goals, Not Resolutions: a letter to myself.

January already?! It’s the month of change and New Year’s Resolutions! It’s the month where people sometimes judge you for having resolutions. “You can start any day, why wait until the New Year?” I can’t speak for anyone else, but I will tell you why I sometimes wait until the first of the month.

To me, the New Year is a fresh start, a new beginning. I understand that it’s just another day, because in reality, it is. I just love the idea of setting new goals for the New Year because it’s easier to track my progress.

This year was the first year that I actually made specific plans to accomplish. I made my plans in the form of a check list. One of my favorites on my list is to attend 36 yoga classes, and I’ve already done 4! My check list is on my fridge, in my bedroom, and my living room. I’m hoping that this will help keep me on track, and inspire me to do more.

2016 for me is about finding myself. Considering the fact that this is my last year before I go back stateside, these next 14 months are crucial. I’m doing what I can to prepare myself for the real world (I moved to Japan right after graduating high school). By this summer I will officially be a Certified Event Planning Specialist! Super exciting! I’m focusing on my physical and mental health, as well as building my savings account.

I try to set realistic AND specific goals. Planning to lose weight is vague. How much weight do you want to lose? What are you going to do to lose weight? Saving money is also vague. Plan to save a certain amount of money, and figure out a savings plan to do that. You want to travel? Where do you want to go? Write down your resolutions and make them a goal, hold yourself accountable.

Almost every day I wake up thinking about the house my husband and I will eventually buy. I think about what kind of cabinets I will have in my kitchen, the type of couches I will have in my living room. I have a vision, and it’s inspiring me to work harder.

You have to envision the lifestyle you want to live. Seek motivation in something. Create a dream board, scrapbook, or even a bucket list. Find someone with similar goals and hold each other accountable. Track your progress every few months. Never stop going after your dreams. Every year that you set and accomplish good goals, you set yourself up for greatness.

Why I quit my job.

A lot of people have been asking me why I would quit my job with no backup plan. It’s kinda tough to answer with one sentence, but I will try to keep things short.

The easiest way to put it, it was a toxic environment. Communication was poor, the job itself is unstructured. The training is nonexistent. Everything was unorganized.

This job was never going to be a long term job, just something to get me out of the house. I spent most of my time there settling because I absolutely hated that place from the beginning.

There are so many other positive things i would rather be doing. I can finally focus on school, my direct sales business, my physical AND mental health, and my marriage.

I’ve never worked at a place that I didn’t like; and I will never work anywhere that I don’t feel comfortable. I won’t work anywhere that will negatively affect my mental health. It’s just not worth it.

Long story short; I quit my job because I knew nothing good could come from staying. I quit my job because my happiness is worth more than $8.71 an hour.


**I would not have quit my job if I couldn’t have afforded to.